In 2019, my coffee table will go back to being just that, a table.
I’m not sure how I started doing my homework in the living room. We have a beautiful front office with billowy white curtains and desk made from heavy wood and metal. It’s quiet and the chair is blue, which I love. There’s ample space and I love the french doors that open into the foyer, which I sometimes close when I’m forced to go in there to watch crazy educational videos from the seventies.
Yet, every night, I find myself sitting in the center of the couch with books laid out to the left of me and a staggering amount of notebooks and loose sheets of paper sprawled out behind my laptop. There are no less than four pens and two mechanical pencils around me.
Doing work like this kills my back and my feet, as I tend to sit criss cross applesauce. Maybe it’s because I like the way the sunlight moves throughout the living room. Without looking at a clock, I can tell that it’s midday or four p.m. It’s probably the view of all my plants and succulents that calms me. Often during the week, Miles will lay on the floor on the other side of the coffee table with his laptop open and all his chemistry homework surrounding him. Bill will be on the chaise going through work emails. Sometimes we listen to records. Sometimes we put Family Guy on repeat because we’ve seen them all and it’s just simple background noise.
We pause to get up and eat supper together.
We all drink coffee well into the evening.
Perhaps the only reason why I torture the coffee table with my constant frustrations, is quite simply that I do not want to be separate from my family. The three of us do everything together- weekend trips, gym workouts, concerts, and now, homework. It’s comforting and it’s homey.
I know that in 2019, just a short year from now, my son will be getting ready to graduate and head off to college. Maybe I’ll gift him the coffee table so that he can say he also earned his degree on its wobbly legs and weird faux tile/wood top.
Or maybe I’ll keep it and work on a few other degrees.
This morning I slept in a little bit and then laid in bed, staring out the window. I thought about how putting a small side table next to my bed with an automatic coffee pot would be pretty beneficial to my overall health and interaction with people. I’ve already marked that down for a weekend project…
Mid-morning, I had a meeting with my college advisor. I have a game plan for how my class schedule should look for the next year or so, but I needed to verbalize it with someone who was more of an adult than me. I mean, I’m an adult, but there’s always someone out there who’s more adultish about life than you are.
That would be her.
So we met up and went over what classes I have left, when I need to do my practicum and internship and then the fatal blow of, “DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOUR LAST SEMESTER TO TAKE MATH.” She specifically said, “I know how you artsy, teachers are. So you’re taking math in the fall.” She even gave me that Mom look.
Yes Ma’am. I will take Math 111 in the fall.
How could I say no to a more adultier type person than me?
Fall is shaping up so that I’ll take college algebra, some computer class that’s all about spreadsheets (yay.) and my practicum, which is where I will work at a school, up to 80 hrs in a semester, and probably write more friggin papers.
If you’re still reading, there’s a point to all of this…
When I got home, I reheated some supper I made last night (blackened brussel sprouts, bacon, garlic) and sat down at the kitchen table. The radio was off, my phone was in my purse and so, I just sat there. I read an article once that talked about how you should do that sometimes. Just sit and consciously taste your food instead of shoveling it in like some sort of madman. It’s alright. I kinda missed acting like a savage and getting crumbs all over the table.
Anyway, there I was, quietly eating my mini lunch and staring out into the backyard at some birds.
It was then that I wondered, “When birds lay eggs, is the pain level equivalent to a human going poop or would it be similar to labor pains?”
So I texted my buddy Dave and posed the question to him.
He only laughed.
But then mentioned that chickens do that shit non-stop, so probably not, as they don’t scream or anything.
So, instead of just living like it’s 1994 and shrugging it off and not going to the library, I started to do some research (this tells me right here that my brain is overworking itself and I’m turning into a weirdo).
First up was a Google search for, “Do birds feel pain when they lay eggs?” Based on a quick scan of the articles, the most recent being from 2015 (and also proving that I’m not alone in my quest for this answer), I determined that yes, birds feel the pain (HA! Dinosaur, Jr reference).
There’s a quick article on a biology website that states, “while there are different sizes of eggs, the larger eggs come from larger chicken breeds. If it does hurt them, at least it takes a lot less time – only a few minutes. From personal experience, the hens do not appear traumatized even seconds afterward and just go about their day as soon as the egg is out.”
First question here… “From personal experience…” Did a chicken write this? Or is he stating that based on watching his chickens lay eggs, he knows they’re good to go? Probably the latter. Let’s move on.
I also saw a video.
Which I watched.
It was a close-up video.
So… there’s that.
Never eating eggs again.
What I’ve gathered by a few simple website clicks is that birds probably do feel some discomfort and pain, but it’s not as terrifying as pushing a human out of your vagina. All us ladies across the planet, whether human or animal, are equipt to deal with the pain of bringing life into the world. It’s just that while humans get the option of anesthesia, birds probably do breathing techniques.
I’m still wondering though if there’s a study out there, where scientists have a little contraction and heart monitor hooked up to chickens to monitor this. To be honest, my curiosity is itching to the point where I’m probably going to look up some peer reviewed journal articles.
I’m also wondering how I can incorporate this into early education curriculum so I can use it in a lesson planning activity.
I need a vacation.
I have eight days left in my curriculum class (there’s also something really fun and exciting that happens in eight days too).
I need to do a brain dump here- because if I write it down on paper, I’ll forget which notebook I wrote it in. The same way that I know I have my last lab assignment somewhere in this living room, I’m just not sure which stack of papers it’s mingled with.
I have to find six photographs that coincide with the state standards I have listed on my project. I couldn’t take photos of the children at the school where I did my observations. Bummer, but I get it.
I need to start writing the paper for this project too:
- suggest at least one strategy you as the teacher could use with the child to increase skill development in each of the 6 measured areas (Fine Motor, Gross Motor, Language, Cognitive, Social/Emotional, and Self Help).
- suggest one addition to the environment that can increase the child’s skill development in each of the 6 measured areas (Fine Motor, Gross Motor, Language, Cognitive, Social/Emotional, and Self Help). List the GELDS addressed by your strategies.
After that, I need to buy another pack of construction paper, because my project says you have to stick with one color of paper and I’ve successfully used all 12 pieces of yellow that came in the two giant packages I bought. Also, I find it slightly ridiculous that I am having to complete a project on a tri-fold display board instead of doing a power point presentation.
Oh, and I also need to fold some laundry. I keep washing, drying and piling it- but have yet to really put forth the effort into squaring it up into nice little piles.
I should probably empty the dishwasher too.
Change the bed sheets.
Buy ingredients for green smoothies.
Listen to Dave Brubeck.
Take a bath.
Forget about homework.
The dog has to poop, but we’ve been out three times now and he just stares out into the abyss.
I need breakfast, but I hate eating eggs.
Brain dump complete.