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Let’s Sit Here A Spell

For six months, I’ve been listening to my intuition.
Waiting. Listening.
Ignoring.
Listening some more.
Ignoring less
Accepting

That tiny, gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. The one that made me feel anxious and sad. The one that let me fill a void with snacks and snacks and more snacks. The one that wouldn’t let me sleep.
Or Meditate.
Or Relax.
I forgot who I was. Where I was headed.  I was, plain and simple, just living to live. I couldn’t tell you the last time I painted, sat down and read a book, went to bed early with my husband to just lay there and laugh.

This afternoon, on my final drive home from work, I cut the radio off and listened to myself. The gnawing feeling was gone. I felt this enormous release of energy wash over me and by the time I’d made it to my driveway, I was so exhausted and so drained. Walking up the stairs felt as if weights had been attached to my legs. Once inside, I dropped my purse on the floor and I sat on the couch for thirty minutes in the cool air conditioned living room, listening, to the quiet afternoon.

My dog hopped up on the couch and curled up next to me.
He knew.
He welcomed the calm.

And today, I took one step toward my own personal goals and wept in the shower- which was the final page in a very long book.

 

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2 thoughts on “Let’s Sit Here A Spell

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