November 1 begins the thirty day write-a-thon! Not only am I participating in NaNoWriMo, but I also challenged myself to write one post a day, everyday, for the month of November. You’d think I’m some sort of overachiever, but that’s not even close to the truth.
Day 1 is an introduction.
This seems slightly irrelevant, as I feel like a majority of you know me. Actually, I don’t think some of you do, which is the whole point of this. Either way, I suppose I should get on with it already. For the past few days I had been thinking of how I should introduce myself. I even Googled, “How to introduce yourself.” Don’t do this. Unless you’re seeking employment and want to answer that age old question from HR, “So… tell me a little about yourself.” Gah.
What is it that people want to know about me? Why is it that writing about yourself is so difficult? I mean, you’ve known yourself for quite some time, you’d think this would be a no brainer.
So, without further ado, I give you, me.
I am weird. It’s okay to say that too. Many people do. It never hurts my feelings.
I am now in a new age bracket in online surveys.
I do not like the way satin or silk feels on my skin. I hate balloons. I listen to music about ten hours a day. I write poetry, which I don’t like to share. I don’t like when people are upset with me. Actually, I don’t like to see people upset at all.
I struggle when life isn’t fulfilling. I am indecisive. I try to find beauty in monotony. I always focus on the positive, even in the most dire situation.
I am infertile. When people ask me when I’ll have another child, it hurts in a way I cannot put into words. I mask my pain with humor. If my response to you is ever a joke, it’s probably because you’ve said something that hurt me and I could never tell you so.
I am married to such a wonderful man. He’s balances me out and has taught me patience in ways I never really imagined. We compliment one another and I still get butterflies when he winks at me.
I can be a very, very dark individual. My sadness can manifest before I have a chance to stop it. I can be cruel in my thoughts, but not my actions.
I am not defined by any title.
I don’t fit in and wouldn’t want to.
I have a small circle of friends that I feel safe and comfortable with.
I am marvelous and unique in a way that sets me apart.
I am Catholic. I meditate and read tarot cards. I pray the rosary and try to spend time in the Adoration Chapel. I give thanks to Mother Earth and the Universe. I believe, that we are all equal and that we should love one another and lift each other up in beautiful, positive ways.
I do not like to make lists, but I do it anyway.
I am in love with love. I enjoy dreamy feelings and having time to myself to decompress. I encourage others to try and do the same.
I am a Mother to a teenager. Yes, this stresses me out. Yes, I love it. Seeing the world from his view point is refreshing. Teaching him about the world, good and bad, is enthralling. I know that when I send him off to college, I will be lost- for a certain period of time.
I am a sister. A daughter. A friend. A best friend.
I tend to be too trusting. This doesn’t always work out for me in the best ways and in the past few years, I’ve started to shut myself off a bit. I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, however, some wounds never heal.
The moment I think something negative, I instinctively remind myself of what I’m thankful for. Every Friday, I post five things I’m thankful for or five things I tried to do to give back to someone else.
So in a nutshell, I’m just a regular chick. I have my insecurities. My quirks. My oddities. We all do, right? Writing this intro was harder than I thought it would be. I struggled with what to say, how to say it. Sure, I could’ve written paragraph after paragraph about my entire existence, but lets be honest- there’s only so much I can do and so much you can deal with. I began the post that way, but decided against it. Instead, I jotted down who I am the moment I thought about it.
And for the record, Introduce Yourself isn’t just a blog post. It’s one of my favorite albums by Faith No More.