Saturday afternoon, I decided it was time to break out the canvas and start on that painting I kept talking about. I pulled out my buckets and pails of paint and brushes, staring at them for a few minutes. I had to decide on where I would paint. Glancing out of the back kitchen window, I decided I’d set up shop on the deck. The early afternoon was warm, but not sweltering. Luckily for me, it was shaded by all the trees in our yard and there was even a breeze.
How lucky could a girl get?
Once I was set up, I sat down cross legged and mumbled, “Here goes nothing…”
As I’ve said before, when I paint, it has to come from a place that I keep tucked away. Like a tooth under a pillow, but deeper still. So perhaps a pea under the mattress or a shoebox under a floor board. I cannot paint when I’m extremely happy nor can I write (or so I thought). Yet, the Universe had put some plans in motion for me and I found that the longer I sat out there on the deck listening to the backyard talk, the happier I became. The lighter my brush, the lighter my mood.
I painted for nearly four hours.
Of course, I had to get up and stretch my limbs. One can only sit cross legged, hunched over a canvas for so long. Once I stood up and stretched, I looked down at the painting. Smiled. It looks good, it looks like me. Feels like me. Little dashes and dots, multi colored and swirling. Reaching down, I grabbed the canvas and pulled it upright against the house. I took a step back and whispered a small thanks.
I had forgotten how relaxed I feel when I paint. How I lose track of time and become so engrossed with what I’m doing. While standing there, it felt as if an ugly piece of myself had been washed away. That’s the only way I can explain it- the ugly spot was gone and I felt right.
The painting is still not finished. I suppose I’m waiting for another “perfect” day to happen so I can sit out on the back deck again and lose myself. Until then, it’s propped up on the fireplace like a bum leg. I hope that when I drop it off for the art show, someone will see the tiny bit of healing in the brush strokes. That if you look closely in the center, you can see a flower unfolding and the day was beautiful.