I Have The Traffics

My afternoon commute for the past week has looked something like this: 

and then


also this:


That pretty much sums it all up right there. Oh wait, I did scream and punch the steering wheel at 6:30 this morning when I got stuck behind a PARKED city bus. In the right hand lane. No where near a bus stop. Would anyone let me over? No. 

Screw those people. I hope they all spilled hot coffee in their crotches. 

Most days I’m able to keep my shit together.  I use traffic as a time to listen to NPR, jazz, if I’m feeling extra PMS-y, I’ll pop in some Barbara Streisand and cry it out. Most afternoons I call family and catch up with them and some days? Well, those are the profanity ridden, scream filled drives. 

All it takes is one five pm Braves game, a convention, a holiday weekend (traffic started today) or a dark cloud.  I’m serious. If there’s a cloud that’s dark gray, forget it. You’re sitting around in one of six to eight lanes of traffic.  Pick your poison. 

Public transportation is a wash for me as well. The buses never run on time or run period. The “subway”? Mmm. Yeah. I’d have to drive half way to work to get to the nearest station, to take it five miles away from my office.  It’s just not user friendly. Which is a damn shame because I bet people would actually use them.

This city has the most jacked up, mind boggling, rage inducing traffic I’ve ever sat in.  I have no idea how folks in L.A. do it (and I’m not referring to Lower Alabama either). So aside from screaming, crying and flipping people the bird, what do you do to pass the time in traffic? 

Here’s to tomorrow’s commute. 

Wish me luck yo. 


2 thoughts on “I Have The Traffics

  1. I am fascinated by other places’ traffic. Montreal has horrible traffic but it’s honestly mostly due to construction. They close off ALL roads and sidewalks that you would need to get anywhere. All at the same time. And then people were surprised when they uncovered a scandal/corruption between the city and construction companies? Ugh. But traffic is horrid and a different kind of horrid than say, Manhattan which is insane. Toronto is also bad, more like NYC. I never think there’s this problem anywhere else though. And I have to say Montreal has made some effort in making their public transportation work slightly better. Not that much better, but it’s improving AND it’s pretty far-reaching.

    I didn’t even know ATL had subways. I’m guessing they aren’t well placed if they aren’t helpful. 😦 Why even bother, you wonder?

    And I hear you on the dark cloud = shitty traffic thing. Because it’s SO true. Here we know as soon as there’s even one drop of rain, more like a drizzle… all of a sudden Montrealers panic and decide that because the world is ending (obviously, because, OMG a RAIN DROP) they no longer need to stop at red lights or stop signs. All road rules become obsolete.

    Don’t even get me started on how bad things get when it snows….

    I won’t even drive in the city, or to it. Or over the bridges to get there. Nope. Shawn can drive, or I’ll just take the bus.

  2. Me and some friends took the subway/monorail/or whatever the hell its called to the SEC title game a few years ago, leaving the game at the dome, and it took us everywhere all over Atlanta before we actually got back outside to the Georgia Dome, and we were tailgating right next to the damn building before the game, like a 20 minute commute when we could have just walked outside, but the entire mass of people were all going in one direction like the Matrix or something.

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